Dark Shadows

The dark shadows is where this movie should have stayed.

     

     Dark Shadows is the latest film collaboration between visionary filmmaker, Tim Burton and the "Jack of all trades" actor, Johnny Depp.  This time around Depp plays Barnabas Collins, member of an illustrious family who runs the fishing town of Collinsport (I would have went with Barnabas Bay, but who am I to judge).  After two timing his true love and a witch, Barnabas is transformed into vampire, forced to watch his true love kill herself and to top it all off, is locked up in a coffin for entirety.  Centuries later, Barnabas manages to escape his claustrophobic prison to find himself in Collinsport in the year 1972.  He locates his descendents, who no longer have the fortune the Collins had during his time, and helps to rebuild their name while competing with the town rival, Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green), who just so happens to be the witch who cursed him.

 

And I thought my ex was bad.

     

    Now the problem with reviewing Dark Shadows is that it is a lot like reviewing water.  Water by its very nature is dull and bland, but you need it.  This movie is dull and bland, but Hollywood simply needs Burton/Depp.  The two have produced some of the most imaginative and conventional films ever to hit the silver screen.  If it weren't for these two, great films like Edward Scissorhands probably would have not gotten the greenlight.  These movies are a testament to what cam be accomplished if Hollywood steps outside of the comfort zone and take risks.  However, this is Dark Shadows first problem, it doesn't take any risks.  It looks, feels, and sounds very much like past Tim Burton movies.  The sets are super dark and spooky and Depp is playing, yet again, another pasty, wired, dude.  While his acting isn't bad, it just feels all too familiar, like a mix between Willy Wonka, Sweeny Todd, and others.

Now a movie with all of them at once, I'd call it...

The Expendepples?

     

     The plot's pacing jerks around a lot, making it hard to fully follow where the story is going.  Many of the scenes seem to go nowhere, with extended dialog exchanges between characters going way too long.  One particular instance of this is when Barnabas returns to the Collin manor after escaping the coffin and claims to be everyone's ancestor.  The head of the house, Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), does not believe him and this leads to a long conversation that ends with him convincing her he is a vampire.  There is nothing memorable about this scene, it takes way too long, and it only serves to tell us what we already know.

     Even though the movie is far from perfect, it still was able to bring some enjoyable moments.  First off, the soundtrack is great.  Its composed of several hits from the 70's and successfully complements the film's style very well.  Depp's character, despite being similar to past roles, is still enjoyable to watch as he interacts with  the strange world of the 1970's.  There is a rather funny scene with Barnabas joining a hippy circle.  It turns out his melodramatic Shakespearean way of talking resonates well with the hippies' far-out way of thinking.  Other that these few moments however, the film still has more cons than pros.

     Tim Burtons' movies became popular because they were so different; they offered us something new and showed us that movies don't necessarily have to play by "the rules" to be accepted.  However, since Willy Wonka, I feel that Burton isn't taking risks like he used to and is just conforming to keep a fan-base happy.  As a friend pointed out to me, Burton should probably stop doing adaptations and return to making original stories like Edward Scissorhands.  I have nothing against adaptions; I just think that we need something brand new to remember what we loved about Burton in the first place, after all, a glass of water can also be refreshing.

 

Especially when that water is served out of this.

 

Overall:

Dark Shadows is probably the worst of the Burton and Depp movies.  It’s not very good, a few enjoyable parts, but not enough for a full move.  Unless you really love Tim Burton, and I mean really love him, as in you know The Nightmare Before Christmas line for line in Spanish, I would just Skip Dark Shadows.

 

Now how should I feel about an adaption of a Tim Burton film directed by Tim Burton?